Ssaaaaaaaame. I have no intention of reading homestuck but some of the stuff the fandom churns out looks amazing.

Well, here’s how I see it…

I’m not going to be called a schmuck for criticizing without knowing what I’m talking about, so I actually did attempt to read it. I attempted to about… three times, I believe? My latest trek through this godawful storyline led me all the way to page 3813.

Just to repeat that: PAGE 3813.

After all that wait and toil over reading this, I have still not found anything that has struck me enough to keep reading. The more I read it, the more I was pleading, deep deep deep down inside of me, that somehow this story would get better; after all, you’d think that a series like this, with all of its diehard fans, would actually be backed up with great characters, and intense plot, and everything in between?

Sadly, you’re very wrong.

This is probably my biggest problem with Homestuck: if it takes you over 4000 pages of story and you still can’t get the meaning COMPLETELY across to your readers, then you have a serious problem, one that warrants a re-writing and a complete analysis of whatever the fuck you want it to be.

Now, go back to what page I left off on. I From what I’ve seen, I believe I’ve only left off on… the 3rd “chapter” (if you want to call it that)? I was already at almost 4000 fucking pages, and it’s only chapter 3? I was completely dumbfounded by this, and the fact that, after all this time, NOTHING of substantial value has been shown, aside from the main characters playing a game until they fuck up their own world (which still hasn’t been fully explained), and a mafia war in another world (which was just introduced out of the blue; I wasn’t even sure if it was some tie-in, or if I was reading something else).

Now from what I’ve heard, some Homestuck fans have decided to skip to “Chapter 5” (I think it’s around the 6000th page marker?), where the famous Trolls finally make their appearance. I’ve also been specifically told to skip to the Troll portion of the story, since “that’s when the story finally starts to pick up”.

STOP RIGHT THE FUCK THERE.

That’s probably my even bigger peeve of this series and its fans: if you’re feeling forced to skip ahead to see all these characters, for hope of a better story, then YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG. A big part of any series is is the buildup: to establish and flesh out characters, make a plot, introduce a problem/natural disaster that ties in well, etc. Since we’ve established the fact that Homestuck is basically a clusterfuck of events that have been added along the way, with buildup that not only a) takes far too long and b) still doesn’t explain much of anything, it’s pretty much a lost cause. Skipping over 6000 pages just to see these new characters is very poor planning of the story, and makes me question if the diehard fans actually care about the overall story, or just crazy troll shipping.

And let’s think about it this way for something like Harry Potter:

"You should skip the first three books, since Voldemort finally comes back in the fourth. That’s when things really get good".

No one will tell you this, simply because the notion is stupid. The first three books are important buildup; no one in their right minds would skip it just to see Voldemort’s revival. Apply this way of thinking to Homestuck and get back to me on this later.

Then again, maybe I’m just missing something. Perhaps it really does get better in the next 2500 pages. Maybe. But until I see substantial proof that it even gets better soon, I’m not going to be persuaded to think differently.

That being said, some of the fanart is fantastic though.

So, yeah… sorry for the rant there.

  1. kawajen posted this